What I need is some time alone

by Ellen Porokonko

I did love him I just didn’t like that he spent all his time at my place.
I mean that from time to time I need to be alone to do what I want and what I couldn’t do while he is home. Another thing that irritated me was that every time when I got back home he started to ask me “how are you”, “how was your day” and the only thing that I need at those moments is silence. Of course I couldn’t tell it to him because I was so afraid that he wouldn’t understand me in a right way. So I decided to get used to it.
But every day I was nervous about it and we quarreled about different unimportant things. And I started to think about people’s relationships. Every day we try to get used to different treats of character of our partner. But what to do if we cannot get used to it? At first I thought that the best way was to pretend that everything is all right. But later I saw that pretending is not the same to having a relationship.
So one day when I was back home and got a usual “how are you”, “how was your day” I came to him and said “Listen what love but you know that for a long time I was living alone and it is strange for me that somebody is talking all day long around me and I really need that at least one hour a day you just keep silence”.
He was surprised and ask the question I was afraid of “You don’t want to live with me anymore?”
I answered “No please no you know what let’s imagine that one hour in the evening I am not at home. I mean I will go to another room and be there for one hour and then we will be together again”.
He smiled at me and nodded.
So I went to another room and close the door and at that moment I realized how much I loved him. As always when we got what we wanted we don’t want it any more. I came to him and said “I love you”. He hug me and then I understood what could I lose if I kept silence.