“I’ll marry you, at the least, call me, babe”- John could not help himself chanting.
Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.– he eventually started, but nothing have broken the silence in the confession box. That is probably even better, – he said and continued telling his story.
Almost the foul odor of the incense was filling the every millimeter of the church and stretched its suffocating smoky fingers to John’s neck, from which the revelation became even more unbearable and heavy. John swallowed the lump of nerves and saliva. He sighed: Once I abdicated the Christ because I was under the influence of another Goddess.
First I have noticed her when her white legs gently dissected waves. She has appeared from nothing, like she has been made in the very abyss of the oceans. There was something strange about her. Her impassive face was framed with a wreath made of fresh lilies and buttercups. But the absurdity didn’t even seem to be strange, because the flowers formed a halo around her head, blond and flawless. And I have started to hate Jesus because he tied me to his cross. For that he hid from me this Marine Aphrodite. I felt awestricken that moment and fell at her legs. But the sad daughter of the night tide, a melancholic wave, dared to kiss my face and silently whispered: “Beware of a Stone Lady”. Hearing only the echo, I looked at the sea surface, which reflected my Goddess made of marble. I was scared.
Some day after we were staying at her place. My Venus has poured red wine in to high glasses. I do not know why my body was shaking when I was looking at the way she was slowly lowering her tongue to the bottom of the glass, and (like the pussy) drank wine.
I loved her, I wanted her, but he could not bring myself to have sex with her . This old good dirty, animal, wild sex. She was too pure, too perfect for this. I worshiped her, I went mad because of her. I hated it. I hated her for the lose of my power to stay independent. I hated her for becoming my eternal salvation and my eternal damnation. I hated her for a wreath made of lilies and buttercups, which (like a crown) were putting her on the throne, making her The Heart of Everything. His throat was dry because of nerves. His cold sweaty fingers reached for a cigarette. Damn! It’s prohibited to smoke in here.
One day I have lost control. I came into her room and wanted to rip her veins, and my veins, so that our blood could get mixed in a puddle, she would never leave me alone. And as I was struggling with my perverted desire, she woke up and looked at me without emotions, again! Life seemed to be so obnoxious without her. I had something to do with it. I asked her to marry me. And then a miracle: she agreed. But instead of a happiness there was only distorted smile on her face. Lilies were filled with gloating laughter, buttercups were trembling with anticipation of something terrible.
The next morning she kissed me. I trotted like a hare. Her lips were cold and non- naturally solid. While she was making pancakes she was humming:“My breasts are cold as clay My breath is earthly strong.
And if you’ll kiss me cold clay lips
Your day, they won’t be long”
After that day, she began to "fix" me and my shortcomings. Her heavy stone hand
tightly closed around my neck. She rotated my head around, teaching me like a little
boy: "Matisse - it's good, and Michael Hussar - it's even better. But Dali – this is a
shit… …Do not do this, do that. Do not wear it, do not say it. Do not look back. Now
it's just me…Now there's only me and nothing else. I am your all: your salvation, your
doom, the air that you breathe.
And then I could not breathe in the embrace of the stone Aphrodite. I myself
turned to be a stone. Then I gathered all the remaining forces into a fist and took her to a
restaurant. That's where she was felt a bit uncomfortable so that her magic influence on
me has become weaker . Then I started to lie about my urgent needs to go somewhere
abroad and said: ” I’ll merry you, at the least, call me, babe”. And I ran as far as he
could.
Forgive me, father, for I have sinned! I'll tie myself to the cross, if only someone
helps me to escape from a stone lady.
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