—Joseph, darling, are you trying to prove
it to her or to me? I do believe men are great, really.—Bet that hurt to write. Twisted every bone in that body.
— Emm, not really. I don't hate men, nor l hate women. I despise people who are cemented deep into prejudice, not even wanting to listen to an actual human in front of them. And sometimes l'm guilty of that too.
— Yet what you say contributes to that
— Because when l talked then about men, l thought about men l had to encounter with
— Okay, fair point. So personal experience grants you the ability to generalise? I mean, you are a bunch of women, if it makes you feel better about yourselves sure, do it, but why tell me?
—Because I was surprised when she said that, l didn't expect it. l won't be telling you those things anymore. Sorry
— Congratulations, but why tell me?
— Because l know you'd disagree, and also because I wanted to ask if it was true
— You had to ask ? A statement like that?
— Right, demolish me. What is your point here?
—Oh do come off it, that was hardly a demolition
— So you were just warming up. Lovely.
— I wouldn’t warm up for something which would just be a waste of my time
— Then what would you call the past 20 minutes ?
— A waste of time
— Exactly! Not even a pleasurable one.
— With all due respect Dary, don’t
— Don't what ??
— Airing grievances is your forte, so if my 20 minutes is a waste of time (which it was) what does that entail for the time you have spent doing the same thing
— We both wasted each other time
— Ahh so now we want to be equal. Funny how that works.
— Tell me your point
— What point ?
— What is the subtext behind this ?
— As soon as I point out an imbalance in the discussion, it’s all of a sudden “we both wasted our time”
— Okay what do you want to discuss? Just tell me what you think, what you feel –a tear dropped on the three little dots in the bottom left part of her screen.
— Your underlying issues and contempt with men are, despite what you say, leaching through. You seem to forget I am in that bracket
— You are probably right- she swallowed
— As much as you might not want to believe it I am a man
— I know you are.
— You praise your female counterparts consistently (calling them smart and beautiful), yet I have never heard any praise from your lips directed at a man, if anything it’s to call them ugly or to attack their personalities. You even act as if being attracted to men is a curse:“but I’m attracted to men, why? ” and you can argue these are jokes, which they might be, but they are born from a quite obvious harbour of resentment.
— I'm pretty sure I've said good thing about my professors, and they are males
— Ah yes, that one professor
—Three
—Because they are so far detached from you, it doesn’t matter. They are twice your age if not more, they are not within your sphere of influence. They do not matter to you, they are old, soon to be dead of course you would praise them. They are not a threat. But I am a man. And as such, I can’t help but slightly feel that resentment that leaks from the corners of what you say.
— Yes, l don't trust men. I have learnt not to.
— I’m sorry you are attracted to men, I’m sorry the majority are ugly and have bad personalities, and I am actually sorry for how you were treated in the past
— Why then you talk to me if l'm so generalising and hateful towards men?
—Because I can understand why. Look, I'm not attacking you. Really I’m not. I guess I just notice the little bits of resentment and just think “well, that’s me I’m a guy”. And, It’s not really about the fact you generalise and don’t like the majority of men, I don’t really care about them, it’s just the fact I will always link it back to me, because I am a man. But yeah, that was a waste of time
— No, thank you for telling me. You do the same with women, by the way, maybe to a smaller degree, but you do.
— Oh yeah, l know that. Never been annoyed that I’m attracted to women though.
— Good for you
— I more dislike certain groups of women, rather than the whole of them
— And I dislike disrespectful man, I'm afraid of them
— Yeah, but congratulations-no one likes disrespectful people. That doesn’t mean I start shitting on the human race because disrespectful humans exist. A dog once bit me, time to start calling dogs names and laughing about them with all my fellow humans.
— I shit on myself ten times more often than I shit on men
— You don’t get a sympathy vote. Do you want equality, or does feminism just appeal to your dislike of men? — It's not what it is, really about
— You claim the feminism you believe in is about equality for everyone, yet you rarely speak equally about the genders. And you relish in an opportunity to knock men down a peg or two if you can.
— From your perspective, l sound like a horrible person. Nice to know. I'm horrible to men.
— No actually, you're not. And that’s also not what I said, I do not appreciate words being put into my mouth, do not twist this.
— That's how l'm feeling now, you didn't say that, sorry.
— Women don’t care about what you say, they care about how what you say made them feel. A generalisation, I know, but it’s in action now. This perspective I am giving you is only for addressing your behaviour that is hurting me. Not even hurting, just a nuisance.
A bit too eloquent for just a nuisance, don't you think-she thought, and texted –Thank you for telling me. — So of course this might be viewed externally as negative, because it’s isolated from who you are. What’s not included is all the reasons why I love spending time with you and talking to you.
— I'm sorry l’ve been hurting you with my comments
— I don’t want an apology. Nor am I hurt. I just dislike the lack of continuity. I’m tired, so that just exasperated the annoyance. You don’t owe me an apology, opinions are fine, it’s good to have opinions to be frank I’d rather you did, means you have a backbone which is good. Doesn’t mean you are free from criticism of those opinions, though. In the sense of why dislike men but not me ?
—Because you don't disrespect me
— Neither do men
— I don't say l dislike man as a whole
— What you say and how you act/what slips through says a different story
— I dislike those who mistreated me
— Yet you are never specific in your criticism
– I know
– If you paint all men with the same brush then sooner or later they will all start to look the same colour. Even me
– It's impossible to paint them all with the same brush
– That doesn’t stop anyone
– I'm not that colour-blind. Well thank you for psychoanalysis session. How are you feeling?
– Okay thank you, you?
– Drained. I don't like arguments.
– Neither. Avoiding them is worse, though.
– I slept 4 hours today
– Why? What ? When did you sleep last night?
– 5 am or something
– How come?
– Was studying then wasn't feeling great. It's fine.
– How are you?
– I've told you. Tired
– Okay
– How are you feeling. How was your day?
– I’ve told you
– Okay
– Alright thank you, still need to finish up the papers here
– I'll let you get on with your work then
– Same for you
– I appreciate you
–After that demolition? Jeez. Just kidding, appreciate you too. Sorry if that was a bit cutting.
Her brain hurt from crying and resentment. She curled up in bed. A wave of weakness came through her body. Heavy eyelids fell on her watered eyes. She woke up 3 hours later to a bunch of notifications and a missed call. He called again:
—I do regret being so harsh, I’m sorry
—I know. I’ve missed you.
— What happened to your ‘I don’t miss anyone unless they are dead’ – That's the problem. I usually don't
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