A Poor Girl. by Alexandra Haistruk

26.03. Father always told me that I should write a diary, but I’ve never had enough time for it.
Now I have it enough, so want to write my life story down in case if somebody will need it. My name is Idzenemi. I was born in a poor family. My mother Yatsuko wasn’t satisfied with the fact that I’ve came to this world. I’ve always thought that she hated me since my very first day. “Why?” you may ask. Because I needed food, space to live and care. They with father were broke, so extra stomach was unwanted. But my father Hiroshi loved me. He was so happy that I was born that my hated him also.
From the early childhood I must have helped my parents. I’ve worked hard, in order to help my family. When you were born in poor family you have to grow up faster. I helped my father to wave baskets and sell them. And I helped my mother to cook and clean in our and other houses.
When I was 6 years old I went to school. But local school was bad and for good school my family hasn’t got enough money. So in two months I stopped visiting school. Nevertheless I grew up educated, because my father was very smart. When we were waving baskets he always thought me something, for example math, geography, literature and even biology.Despite my mother I had happy childhood. Until day X.
27.03.
I remember everything very clear. I was eleven years old and was drawing at the table. My mother was cooking a dinner and father resting on the couch. It seems idyllically, doesn’t it? But then came they. Boys from Matsumoto’s gang burst in our house. They were drunk and in good mood. That was bad sign. My father tried to stop them and asked them to leave. But one of boys had a knife and he
hit my father in stomach. One, two, three, four, five times. My mother was scared. She told me to hide, and I ran in the bedroom. I’ve hide in closet and only heard my other screaming and begging. Although I wanted to scream and cry, I held still and quiet. Only tears were streaming down my face. In 15 minutes of hell I’ve heard sound of a car. And then it was quiet. No laughing, no screaming, nothing.
A man came to the bedroom. He looked under the bed, checked the bathroom and opened closet. It was Matsumoto himself. Everybody in district has known him, because he was head of local Jakudza gang.
28.03.
Since that day I lived in Matsumoto’s house. It was huge. I was one of maids till I got 13. Then I’ve had also some add tasks. I’ve lost my virginity very early. As I said, when you are born in poor family you have to grow up faster. I’ve never seen Matsumoto again after day X, but I’ve developed some other relations. I understood that it is no point in crying and begging. If I want to change something, I must change it. So I swallowed my pride and dignity and begun my way to the top.
Very soon with hard work and loyal behavior I became one of the best maids who serve for important people, including all Jakudza chiefs. I realized that if every man wants me, than I have weapon against them. For the start it was great. One by one I’ve cast a spell on them and they were ready to give me everything what I wanted. And I wanted only a few things.
29.03.
Faces of three men, who killed my parents I’ve remembered for the rest of my life. One by one I’ve prepared for them “accidents”. It took by me two years. The first one was poisoned. hat was too easy. The second one died in car accident when brakes of his car didn’t work out. The most complicated was with third one. He appeared not so often in Matsumoto’s house. So I’ve decided to kill him at each opportunity even if I’ll be revealed. But the destiny gave me better chance. I saw him standing on balcony, so I just pushed him from the high right into the sea. His body was found but no one could say if it was murder or suicide. The first part of my revenge was done.
The next part was very delicate. So I acted very carefully in order not to ruin everything. First I needed to win over Jakudzas chiefs. Only two of seven were alert about me. I needed to have support from all of them. I’ve played a dangerous game and even one mistake could cost me life. I discovered that in a month will be meeting of Jakudzas heads. It was the best chance for me. There were only two ways: I will become the main head of Jakudza or I’ll die. The main difficulty in my plan was that in history of Jakudza wasn’t any chief woman. Even at local gangs. But I want to end with this patriarchy. That’s why I wanted to go in va-bank (all in) – everything or nothing. These men won’t let me to rule local gang. In some time they would assassinate me. But they won’t dare assassinate the main chief, because traditions don’t allow do that.
They only way I could gain respect, power, and force is the way of blood. I managed to get permission to serve this meeting. I prepared to this moment and planed everything. Meeting was going good. They discussed influence topics and then decided to choose new main head of Jakudza. Everybody knew that it will be Matsumoto - one the smartest and bravest of them all. When this time come and he was chosen, I killed him. I came and jugulated him. The blood was everywhere. Two other chiefs who didn’t like me killed my loyal lovers. And so I’ve became Idzenemi – the first woman main head of Jakudza.
The next my move was to get a tattoo as a sign of my actions, power, and status. It covered all my body. Boys of Matsumoto became my boys. And I had nets all over Japan. I became queen of Jakudza!
30.03.
I’ve walked slippery slope but it was worth it. The main mistake of Matsumoto was to save my life. No one would forgive anybody killing of parents. My life thought me to be strong and patient. My family doesn’t respected traditions so strongly. But living by Matsumoto’s house thought me that everyone should adhere it. My life was heavy and sad. But now I have power and this is the most important thing. Sometimes I thought about what would happen if I was born in a rich family. But I don’t think about it anymore. Because despite all tragedies in my life I’ve became a person whom I always wanted to be. No one can take it from me now.