26.03. Dear diary, my life is heavy and complicated.
I want to tell my story to someone who wouldn’t tell it to anyone else. So I’ve decided to write my diary. First, I want to tell you my story before this day.
My name is Idzenemi, which is translated as woman who invites. My parents decided that this name was best for me. And now I’m beginning to agree with them, because my life forced me to change my character, my everyday life and preferences.
Let me explain my words. I was raised in a happy family. My father – Hiroshi – is a good person. It’s funny because his name represents him very well! Hiroshi means wide or large and he is a large person. My mother – Yasuko – is a good Japanese woman, who respects traditions and moral. She brought me up with love and care. I know that they wanted for me happy future. But life goes its way and for person it is very hard to change something.
My parents are rich, so I had everything what I wanted. I have to admit that I wasn’t very capricious in childhood. I preferred to stay home and read books, training at Japanese calligraphy and learn how to dance.
27.03.
My parents could afford to create my happy future. I’ve attended one of the best private schools in Japan. Thanks to my passion for books and knowledge I learned very good and passed exams for a highest score.
I managed to enter the medical university. My mother advised me to choose exactly this university, because medicine is profitable sphere where I can develop myself. And I agreed. In university I’ve met my best friend Asa. She wanted to become a pediatrician and I – the neurologist. We had so much in common: the same food taste, books and movies preferences.
We even attracted the same males. However we promised to one another that we won’t struggle and quarrel about boyfriends. So our friendship was strong enough.
In one year I’ve met my first true love. And I’ve got crazy. Obviously I’ve dated some couple of times, but I’ve never experienced this feeling. Yes, I was in love with him – Kadzuya. We spend so much time together and we were happy! But. There is always “but”.
But one day I discovered that my father owed money to local Jakudza boss. His name is – Matsumoto. My father was trying to find the exact sum of money, but he didn’t manage it. Matsumoto with his five boys and took me from my family away. My mother was crying, my father couldn’t watch all this, so just went away in the kitchen. I was desperate! Why? Why did they do this? Matsumoto said that he proposed to my father a deal: he finds money or I become Matsumoto’s wife.
28.03.
I was shocked. I couldn’t speak. I just stand there and couldn’t thought or seen anything. I was guided to my room and left alone. Although I knew that one of Matsumoto’s boys is standing behind the door. I hated him. I hated everyone in this shity whole! I propped the door up and lay on bed. I was crying the whole night long. I was thinking about my family, Asa and more important about Kadzuya. Oh, my darling! “He might doesn’t know anything” – I thought. On the next morning nobody came. Only in three days I was guided to Matsumoto. He said that he gave me some time to think and want to know now, if I will stay with him.
I couldn’t think. My eyes were full of tears. I said: “No! I will go to my family and boyfriend. And you leave me alone!”
This was biggest mistake in my life. Matsumoto didn’t shout, didn’t hit me. He didn’t do anything. He just took me and few of his bubs and set in a car. In 15 minutes we were at Kadzyas home. I couldn’t believe. How? How did he know?
We went into the small house, where Kadzuya had dinner with his family. And then… I couldn’t remember everything in details. I remember I was screaming, biting one of Matsumoto’s boys. But I remember the most important thing – how Matsumoto killed Kadzuya and his family. Then he turned to me and said: “Now say me who will be next? Asa? Hiroshi and Yasuko?”. I was crying.
29.03.
He just pulled the triger four times. First shot – grandmother. Second shot – father. Third shot – mother. And then – Kadzuya. The last shot. It was a nightmare. No, it was worse than nightmare, because it happened in reality.
Maybe I’ve lost consciousness, because I don’t remember how I was brought to Matsumoto’s home. I’ve het one important lesson after this. And I grasped it for my whole life. In a week I come to Matsumoto and said that I’ll be gentle, honest and loyal. In two days we got married. I lost my virginity with Matsumoto while I couldn’t stop thinking of Kadzuya.
Since then 10 years passed. Matsumoto became the main boss of Jakudza in Japan. And I became the main boss’s wife. We have two kids – Kadzuya and Uruka. Matsumoto everyday say how he loves me and happy that I’ve decided to stay with him. He always repeat that my beauty gave him strength to fight for me and achieve success.
I’m happy, maybe. In any case I have no complaints. I use all privileges of my position. I don’t want anything more. I’ve became real Idzenemi - woman who invites. I’m the host in this house and the second person after Matsumoto.
I was raised up in a rich family and now I have even more money. But I think that if I would be born in poor family, Matsumoto wouldn’t know about me and my beauty. So maybe all of those horrible things wouldn’t happen?
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