Flowers by Olya Sheludko

He stinks of alcohol and can’t stand on his feet

for more than five minutes without someone’s help. I can’t understand how he is supposed to help us, he can’t even help himself. Right now, he is still on the floor, in his vomits, while Maggie tries to help him stand up. I give up looking at this disaster when he slips and falls down.

Maggie stops me before I can open the door

“We need him”

I look back at him: he sits on the floor, his hair is messy and dirty, his face is in bruises, his shirt has red stains - I am not sure if it’s from wine or blood - his pants have dirty grey colour ( I made assumptions that they were white once, but looking at how many layers of dirt is there, I threw this thought away).

“Do we?”, I say.

This time she doesn’t stop me. 

I am furious and sad, and I don’t look, just go. When I see the cemetery, I am not surprised. I go on a familiar path and see the  grave. First time in a long time, I feel calm.

***

I don’t notice the dark. I was just sitting there and sitting ‘till I understood that it’s already night. Even though, I continue sitting.

I hear footsteps. “Meggie” is my first thought, so without looking, I said

“You should go home”

“You are commanding even here?”

  That’s not Maggie. I turn around and see his face. The darkness hides his face and dirty clothes, but I still feel the smell of cheap alcohol, but at the same time I feel the smell of….

“Flowers?”

“That’s not for you”

He puts the flowers on the grave near my dad’s grave. I saw it all the time, but I never thought someone would visit it. Suddenly, I remembered where I saw his surname before. 

“I don’t need your pity”, he says.

I stay silent, but he continues.

“And you don’t need mine, but I owe your father”

I tried to hide the surprise on my face, but I guess I failed. Still, he pretends he didn’t see it.

“Let’s try again?”

He reached his hand, waiting for a handshake. I don’t trust him, I don’t need him, and yet I took his hand and shook it. If I wanted to know more about dad, I should tolerate him for a while.