Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, 12:40 PM.
The country's greatest shop robber, James Wilbor and his kangaroo sidekick, were driving towards the nearest Kmart that James didn't rob twice this year. They slammed into the store with a car, just a little to provide necessary panic, and walked in.“Hands up! This is a safety drill. And if anyone moves, calls the cops, or coughs funny, your safety will be compromised.” James takes out a gun, and his kangaroo sidekick named Dolly starts to jump towards the alcohol stand.
“James? Is that you? It’s me, Eddie — your brother-in-law.” It was words of family reunion that the cashier provided; he didn't show himself from a hiding spot.
“Eddie? It’s been a long time. I even missed you and Layla. Good thing I dropped by — you still owe me fifty.” James came to the counter and now looks at the top of Eddie's bald head.
“Good to know you still remember.” Eddie's touching reply gets cut abruptly by Dolly, who tries to put as much beer in her pouch as she can. “What’s with the kangaroo? Isn’t the little kangaroo in her pouch going to get claustrophobic from all of that? That’s kind of unnatural.” Terrified people in the convenience store were now getting more perplexed, not from the implication of a shot in forehead, but from the new naturalistic observation.
“That’s an interesting question.” James takes out a sports bag and puts it on the counter. “And I need some smoke to think about it, so fill ’em up.”
Eddie takes out the cigarettes and, after scanning them, puts them in the bag. James looks at him as if Eddie burned down the house by opening a peanut with a flamethrower. “What are you doing?”
“Just filling the bag. Or do you want the plastic one?”
“No! Eddie, I don’t want a plastic one. Stop scanning the damn packs — I won’t pay for them anyway!” Dolly starts hitting some cans of Italian sauce and jumps intimidatingly near frightened customers with one beer bottle in her arm.
“Oh, I see how it is. I guess I won’t get that raise, and I won’t be able to buy that robot vacuum cleaner Layla always wanted. All that cleaning was tiring her back, and you know how important the spine is for the structural support of the body.” Eddie looks down; his face looks as if someone told him Santa will never come down the chimney again. Something inside James stopped needing free bad-habit goods, and he walked out of the store. From the half-demolished automatic doors, he takes the wheel and now smashes the car into the nearest ATM, takes the money, and brings it to Eddie.
“You are right. I should have thought about family’s backs. Too bad I only thought of mine. I hope that’s enough to buy Layla a new spine if she wants to.” Suddenly, the SWAT team raids the building.
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