Loneliness and emptiness

by Maria Shylo
Sometimes I dream about reality
Sometimes I feel so gone
Sometimes I dream about a wild wild world
Sometimes I feel so lonesome
(Manu Chao)

Sometimes I open my eyes in the morning and feel that I am lonely. It is just a sensation for a second, but this feeling of loneliness is extremely strong. I think that anyone and anything can`t change this. 

I am lonely and it is forever. This feeling is terrible and it makes me empty. I don`t want anything, I even don`t want to get up. I just want to lie and think how unhappy I am.

In such moments I should get up as fast as I can, take a shower, drink coffee and remember about all the people who love me. I know that they are always ready to help me or just to talk with me. And then I call my Mom. She has calm and pleasant voice and I understand that all my problems are not serious. 

But on the other hand, there is the other kind of loneliness, that doesn`t make me feel empty and unhappy. It`s very serious understanding of my loneliness in this world. I call it global loneliness. It is connected with human spirit not with the body and our everyday life. It means that I came to this world alone and I will leave it alone. And all my tasks in this life I will do by myself. My destiny is just mine. But maybe it is not feeling of loneliness, maybe it just my responsibility for my life. Anyhow, in my opinion, we should not capitulate and spare ourselves. We should struggle with feeling of loneliness if we are not lonely.