no chance to say goodbye

                                                                  by Olha Kolesnyk

  “What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street?
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye? How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?”

  By Pink from the song “Dear Mr. President”
Standing down the snowy street… White snowflakes were falling down on my black hair, on delicate dress with bow, on my pail and frozen arms. Cold. Nobody was around.
Only street with broken paving, old cracked houses from the previous century were looking at me. Shattered windows with their shady smiles hunted me. I couldn’t even make a step. My head was full of sorrow and eyes were full of tears. I was standing there as a fallen angel. Mysterious lanterns played with me by its infernal lights. I couldn’t stand this anymore! Breathe, breathe, and breathe. My lungs didn’t want to hear my command. I was lost, lost in my life, in my own way.
Snowflakes were in the air, in my mouth, in my nose, and in my lungs. I looked on different sides of the street. Nothing, nowhere. Somewhere I heard was playing sad piano song. I felt my heart was beating inside me. Melody was cold and chilling as my frozen hands and legs. I was lost girl in the strange place. I thought I could hate but I had no feelings at all. I sobbed out all my emotions. I was so stupid and giddy. I touched my coulomb, which was around my neck. It was my entire fault. I could do nothing; I was not able to move on. I had nothing, no family, no friends; I had even no place to live. Something moved in front of me! God! What is this? Na-na-na…
I saw a silhouette! That was a man in black coat. I stopped for a minute. It could be my last chance to survive tonight. “I’m sorry, - my voice sounds hoarse and strange, - Please, can you give me something? Please, a piece of bred….” I had no strength in my mouth to continue talking to this unknown man. The man stopped for a second and I saw his eyes. He was looking ordinary; his nose was red because of the frost. Today was very cold. Suddenly, he stepped back and jumped away, exclaiming something like: “Go away, Gypsy woman!” His fur cap fell down but he didn’t allow me to pick it up. “Sorry…” - whispered my lips. “Go away!” – shouted man and quickly went away. In three minutes I was the only person on the street….

I felt terribly and started to cry. I sat down on the snow and covered my wet face with hands. Pain, unbelievable pain like poison saturated my body, my heart, my soul…