Some Alternative Readings of Stately, Plump by Maria Panfiorova

Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead,
bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed.
— Come up, Kinch. Come up, you fearful jesuit.
Leaning his arms on the top of the staircase, Stephen Dedalus looked coldly at the shaking gurgling face that blessed him (wait, when?), equine in its length, and at the squat horns showing through light untonsured hair, grained and hued like pale oak. Displeased and sleepy, he couldn’t quite get what was off — the portrait, the scenery or the language.
— The mockery of it, he said gaily. Your absurd name, an ancient Greek.
His speech remained the same but the rest was shaky and uncertain. Something must have happened last night but Stephen Dedalus couldn’t recall anything except, probably, the fact he really had no reason to stay awake.
Buck Mulligan’s voice went on.
— My name is absurd too: Malachi Mulligan, two dactyls. But it has a Hellenic ring, hasn't it? Tripping and sunny like the buck himself. We must go to Athens. Will you come if I can get the aunt to fork out twenty quid?
Question — no answer — question. A few passages came by seemingly. The bowl, the door, the key — irrelevant. Enough for today. I will not sleep there when this night comes.
***
Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, humming a mass and barely managing to bear a bowl of lather.
Stephen Dedalus, distracted and sleepy, came out right after, as old jokes didn’t really grow on him. He leaned his arms on the top of the staircase and looked discomposedly at the Mulligan’s face, less equine in its length, and at the pointy horns showing through light untonsured hair, grained and hued like pale oak. It was quite calm and quiet if only not for the clatter of Buck's hoofs.
It also seemed that Stephen’s tiresome sleepiness came from nowhere as he couldn’t recall what (who) had kept him awake. For a long time, he used to go to bed early but then something (someone) went missing.
— The mockery of it, he said gaily. Your absurd name, an ancient Greek.
When Athena appeared to Telemachus, he woke up Peisistratus by poking him with his heel. Maybe, that was it — Mulligan’s heel that dare not speak its name.
His gay voice went on.
— My name is absurd too: Minotaur Mulligan, two dactyls… Wait, there’s no hell of a dactyl at all. But it has some Hellenic tones, hasn't it?
Buck Mulligan propped his mirror on the parapet and only then realized he had no proper fingers.
— I can use a friendly hand, he said.
With a strange obedience Stephen dipped the brush in the bowl and lathered Buck’s cheeks. Only now he noticed horns had grown. That was what bothered him the previous today: why were these horns and not antlers?
— Tell me, Mulligan, Stephen said quietly.
— Yes, my love?
He suddenly forgot. Something about Athens. Irrelevant. When this night comes, will I sleep in that bed?
***
STATELY, PLUMP BUCK MULLIGAN emerges from the stairhead.
Scene: In front of the palace of Buck Mulligan at Dublin. To the right of the stage near the altar stands STEPHEN DEDALUS.
STEPHEN DEDALUS
Who's there? Nay, answer me: stand, and unfold yourself.
STATELY, PLUMP BUCK MULLIGAN
(shaking his massive bull head) Do you really think it would make much sense with reversed roles?
STEPHEN DEDALUS
(displeased and sleepy, goes where SPBM stands and leans his arms on the top of the staircase)
STATELY, PLUMP BUCK MULLIGAN
It does be staying that way, doesn’t it? (props his mirror on the parapet) Otherwise, what shall I do? Kill my mother and marry my father?
Buck laughed. His awareness disturbed Stephen as only now did he revealed himself as the part of the play. Was it all his fault? The desperate attempt to keep him in the tower?
Stephen rushed to the exit. Buck looked at the mirror and decided he had no use shaving. Stephen returned immediately after to his own amusement: only now he noticed that the tower was surrounded by sea and nothing but the sea for a miles and miles over the expected horizon.
— Tell me, Mulligan, Stephen said quietly.
— We’re going to Athens.
Buck left the scene and also Stephen in the lurch. For the rest of the day Stephen Dedalus wandered the labyrinth under an appreciable mental strain, since by tonight he should have been.
— I should start back, he muttered as the sky began to grow dark.
When this night comes.
***
Stately, plump Buck Mulligan was nowhere to be found. If not for a constant roaring, snorting and thudding, his existence would be easy to ignore.
Stephen suddenly thought it would be nice to buy some flowers. He went downstairs but then remembered there was no exit. Unfortunate.
He headed south to the school, then walked all the way north along the shore with his eyes both shut and open. Office, hospital, brothel — the usual routine with that only acceptation he was alone. He knew for sure he couldn’t escape the tower or its new old guardian but the endless search for nothing pushed him forward.
And then after long hours of wandering he came right to the top, where everything had begun. As the night had grown deep blue, the chthonic monster he used to know woke up from his sleep.
Stephen came closer to the parapet and looked down, as the thud grew louder. Life was good somewhere else. He did not want to but whatever. Stately, plump Minotaur Mulligan rushed from the stairhead, Stephen Dedalus spread his wings…
***
Stately, plump — Stephen could perfectly hear that a mirror and a razor lay crossed on a bowl of lather Buck Mulligan was bearing.
— Come up, Kinch. Come up, you fearful jesuit.
Stephen woke up with a feeling that there was a war somewhere, even though he couldn’t remember where and when.