Love likes the Darkness by Elizaveta Groza

I couldn’t fall asleep…
I couldn’t fall asleep that night at all, damn it! I was lying in my bed immutable, like a dead man in a coffin, and was staring at the ceiling, blinking from time to time. I was involuntarily keeping my ears open on the cars` noise outside my window. Those cars don`t sleep either. They are going somewhere in the middle of the night, honking, smashing the night science on their windshields, destroying my peace, keeping my sleep away. It is oddly… My thoughts are now running around in my head like those cars on the night highways. I have no vitality to stop them: it is out of my control. Whether I just don`t want to? Curiously, what prevents me more from falling asleep now: my thoughts, or those cars outside the window?
Perhaps, she is driving one of those cars now. She is running away from me likewise a shot fox runs away from a hunter. She wants to forget all the pain and feel none of it anymore. However, is it possible to get rid of what is rising up inside of you over and over again? I can hear her suffering in every brake`s creak, in every honk echoed from the street. I can almost imagine her pain`s smell inside the leather car interior, wet with her tears. She is driving with her eyes thoughtlessly straight forward. She is to find the answers to the myriad of questions inside her head somewhere at the end of that endless highway. She won`t read the text messages for she knows I`ve sent them.
I feel the cold wind breaking into my room through the window, so I am wrapping with my blanket tightly, trying to keep warm. Those efforts are in vain for I will never warm up again. Forever winter came into my heart. I currently have just memories of the nights she was laying beside me. She was like a coffee with milk. I was about drinking all of her till the last drop. We were basking under the blanket and were catching the glow of our happiness in each other`s eyes. Love was flying in the air likewise snowflakes were flying outside our window. Love made us blind and we drowned in it deeper with every kiss. Nothing is now able to warm me up as well as Margo did. She was the flame I was burning in with such a pleasure. I am now just a tiny spark which is lonely smoldering on the ground and is about to go out.
The pillow next to me smells with her love. Caramel, orange and flower aromas are spreading in my bedroom, which I currently have no one to share. I breathe it fully and feel the vitality coming in me with every inhale. Today`s dawn will be followed by the tomorrow’s one… Margo will be slowly disappearing from my lungs day by day. One night I won`t feel her love anymore as it will evaporate, will melt down likewise snow melts in a spring morning. That second I will fade, go out, turn into dust… I wish this night would never end, because as soon as it does, I will suffocate.