She had had a lot of work trying to do her best to show the director that she was the best candidate to get promotion. She felt tired. She thought: ’It is so hard for me to keep my mind clear. I need… What do I need? Oh, yes, I need to look through the documents secretary gave me. It possibly will take two hours. But my work just wore me out. Why my boss so stupid? His jokes are very primitive and his trying to make date with me is disgusting and ridiculous. And secretary always forgets about my meetings. Today she forgot about my meeting with gynecologist. I should find more responsible person, but my secretary is my director’s niece. Come on, Anna! I know I can easily fall asleep right now, but my work is important. I have dreamt about it almost all my life and I have no rights to relax and make all my efforts useless. I am pressed for time. And I even can’t imagine how hard it could be to keep on working if I decided to give birth for that child. Of course, I would not succeed. Having kids is good when it does not destroy your lifestyle. Timothy often says that he wants to have a little copy of me, but child will make our life different. And who knows, maybe this difference will be awful. It is bad that I have not told him about my pregnancy, but he would never let me do the abortion. He just doesn’t understand how important free time for me right now when I am almost at the top of my career. ’
Woman breathed deeply. All Anna needed at that moment was hot bath and a cup of tea with ginger to get some energy. She called loudly: ‘ Timothy! Be a good husband and make me a cup of my favorite tea’. She went to the bathroom and filled the bath with hot water thinking about some aspects of her project.
When she went out bathroom she saw that there was no cup of tea at her table. ‘Oh, Timothy! I asked you to do me just one cup of tea. I work all day trying to earn more money for living and you spend all your time at home, drawing your nobody-needs paintings! Can you sometimes complete my small requests? I am almost exhausted and I need to concentrate on my work. Your pictures aren’t so important for neglecting me!’ Anna shouted angrily walking to his room-workshop. When she opened the door she saw that room was almost empty. There were only big painting covered with canvas and a letter on the old table. Anna was confused. She wrote the letter.
‘Anna,
I had never thought that everything could be turned in such cruel way it is now. You were my love at first sight. When I saw you at the museum seven years ago I immediately understood that I want to spend my life only with you. But now looking back on the time we were together I understand that it was not life. Our home is the awful prisonlike house where you are the sadistic executioner who like slow mental tortures. Everything must be for you, everything can exist only if it for you! You notice me only when you need something from me. All our talks are about your work, your ideas for your work, your efforts for your work. Maybe, it sounds egoistic, but I am tired of your work.
Now I remember with pity what I felt to you long years ago. I was desperately in love. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t paint. All my thoughts was about how to make you to date with me. Even now I can not explain my courage when I finally asked you to date with me. Perhaps, I needed to feel some pain to feel real freedom and subconsciously recognized the evilly oppressor in you. I was happy when I had felt returned love from you. But I understood what the real happiness was when you accepted my proposal to marry me. I thought that I was in heaven. I found the love of my life and I wanted to keep my treasure for ever.
However, we made commitment we were not able to honour. Honestly, you are awful. Moreover, I am awful too. It is not funny, but I even think that truly you fell in love only with your work. And it is my fault. I did not make your life good enough to not spend so much time on work. I did not interest you in our family. I did not persuade you to trust me all your thoughts and secrets. I am sorry for everything I have not done for you.
Actually, I thought we could fix our marriage. I loved you till today. I could forgive you many things: your late work, your disaffection with my paintings, your strict loveless voice when you come home and give me orders. Even if you had a lover I could forgive it… But I can not forgive you the murder of our unborn child. Your gynecologist had phoned asking why you did not come to the appointment and said that you should carry about yourself after abortion. I could not restrain my tears. I had never thought before that I married to the monster.
I go away. Forever. I will never understand your action. I will never want to understand you.
Thank you, my cold-hearted Anna.
You released me from the prison of my long-time died love.
Finally not yours,
Timothy.
P.S.
I left you the painting as the present. You can use it as a mirror.’
Anna released the letter from her hands. She was broken and indignant . She slowly came up to the painting. Her hands were shaking. She dropped the canvas and freezed.
The background was completely blood-red color. In the foreground there was the naked pregnant woman with Anna’s features. Her eyes were dark and brightless. Her tanned skin shone. She grined by her scarlet lips and her tooth were razor-sharp. At her left breast there was depicted little ice bay. The woman was holding knife. She swung the knife on her stomach where was depicted a screaming baby.
Anna felt how vomiting trying to come under her throat. She fell into her knees. She felt as if someone had hit her on the head. It was difficult for her to watch, to hear, to breathe, even to cry. Couple seconds later Anna heard her own screaming.
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