But she also felt like it would happen later, much later. Maybe never.
She was arranging some stuff in her room just to keep herself busy. It has probably started when they picked up Koda. He had a collection of small glass bottles of different shapes and colors. Thou they were mostly dark brown and slightly yellow, and one was blue, a very intensive one. And no one knows where he gets them. She never asked him, but some things should not be asked.
And he brought a mess on this ship, this kid, a lot of things, an interest to them among other folks. Before that she felt a sort of sound mess here. Folks were loud, everybody in their own way. Koda was very silent. Abrupt words turned into sentences now, thou this shortness has left in him, in his mimics and his silent understanding. He was just not asking questions sometimes, when it would be natural for kid to ask, for man in general. He was silent when he was expected to be moving around and twinkling as lights. And it felt like understanding. And also he spent a lot of time alone, on the shrouds. Maybe he was talking to Orano.
She and Elevet could have kids. Time with him was so concentrated and vast, she always had that feeling they would have time later, they would always have time. No rush. That's how he moved in the space, how he felt himself in a world — no rush.
Koda became her kid, somehow. Their, her and all of the folks. She had a big family now, her people. When he was alive and boat was half-unlived, she felt fullness also. It was closer and kind of warm. Now it is more soundful but farther.
He would have loved Koda, she thought.
Thou, Brody takes good care of him. He, and Mike, and others, everything emerged itself out. They must talk someday. She should explain. Maybe later.
He knocked the door quietly. She had an ear good enough to hear his steps approaching; a knock was more a gesture of an ask for permission. It was her ship, her home. He lived here, had his own corner. Walls around him, finally, within all these years.
Life is all about bordercrossing, he thought. And not crossing. Building fences and bridges. Asking or being rude. Waiting for someone to come and making pilgrimages. Crossing borders cowardly, or without hesitation, or pretending not feeling hesitation, or looking at thresholds when the door is already open. When the door is…?
Oh, I’m sorry, I kind of.. missed the moment.
She looked at him smiling.
Come in, Brody, don’t stand on ceremony.
She was smiling and scratching her hair, turning it into a complete beautiful mess, and looking aside a little. She was smiling, he thought. And cleaning her room?
Am I interrupting the process of taking all the things on the right places?
You do think I know something about the right places? Grab your sit, — she nodded on the chair near the table and set on the bed cross-legged, leaning to the wooden wall.
The room changed a little since he was here last time. A string with colored pieces of cloth stretched along the sloping boat ceiling. Seemed a king of flags or something.
Koda has done a fine decoration in his room. And it was probably the impact of his art.
I think folks around you are feeling them on their places. And you have an eye for the details. Your ship is very nice.
It is ‘couse it’s lived-in and decorated in twenty hands. And it’s not mine but also yours now. All of yours’.
He left it in his mind to settle. Did she allow him to think about ship as his home? A home, he thought, a family.
They were passing one of the rare lands today, those ones with coniferous trees, and the sound now was a little different. He sat near the window and heard the wind in a sail and ship’s turbo, and waves that were reaching the shore, hitting the ground slightly. Far far away. Such sounds distracted him in a good way. He loved them.
Don’t say you didn’t know, — she looked at his silence with narrowed eyes.
Of course. I just didn’t expect you to say it. I appreciate —
She sniffed.
…and I am very happy to be here. Here in this place and with these people. I'm touched being called a part of crew.
Okey, Brody. You can consider yourself forgiven.
He put a palm of the left shoulder and bowed his head.
— My deepest gratitudes.
— So, do you come up with something?
She exhaled. Maybe he just came, passing her room by.
He set at her table looking at her and she felt he was not disturbing the room, and the ship, and he was so calm and easy. That’s fine.
— Mike said Koda liked to keep himself entertained with different stuff. I thought I could teach him to look after some gears and maybe inner of the ship. Like, the basics. What do you think?
— Great idea! Why do you even ask. He is cool about all the techno, I’m sure he’ll enroll.
— I though we may bother you while moving around.
— No way! You're louder than him, but we get along somehow nevertheless.
— Er, okey, I shall certainly bear this in mind, — he laughed.
— Oh, Brody, I mean, — she was searching for a word and waving hands slightly.
…that Koda rarely chats but more listens all around. Sure.
She looked at him closely.
— Well, not quite. I mean you turn off from time to time and I can almost hear thoughts babbling in your head.
And what do they chat about?
Oh, other lands and times of continents, ocean currents. Systematizing. Morals. New inventions, — she was kind of reminding something.
— You know what you are taking about, don't you?
— Okay, you got me there. Stop grinning so openly.
Of cause he didn’t.
That’s captain’s job. Encourages thinking about problems of the world scale.
— Ha. Indeed.
They paused on a second.
It’s late already, I think I'll go, — he got up.
Sure. Good night.
He half-turned before opening the door, a hand on doors knob.
How do you... do you think I could be a father for him?
She froze.
— No, I… Listen, Jeremiah. I know you still love him. I also loved him, he was a good man. And I don't think it will change with the time. I want to be here and help you with the stuff. I am not... pushing something ahead. I'm not blind. I was not on the board the whole time, but I had seen you both. …I thought I have some responsibilities also.
She hugged him the way he couldn’t see her face.
— Thanks, Brody.
— That’s fine, — her hair smelled with wet wood and something metallic.
He opened the door.
— Good night, Brody.
— Good night, Jeremiah.
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