The Snow Queen by Anastasia Tarasenko

This pain was unbearable,

but sitting next to him without any opportunity to touch, not being the object of his gaze and the reason for his smile, was even more horrendous. Her heart always lost its beat when Jaime Waters came into this room. Elizabeth Grey knew he did not know about her feelings. He did not know how her hands were shaking near him or how butterflies were flying at her stomach even when he just glanced at her. Jaime did not know because she looked like a Snow Queen: cold, indifferent and unresponsive. Besides, behind her back, everyone from their work called her that, mostly because of her character and Scandinavian appearance. Every male colleague tried to invite her for coffee, but always heard rejections. Everyone except him. Jaime never asked her for coffee or something like that: he just treated her like every other co-worker, no close attention, no special offers, nothing. Lizzie could not understand why Jaime never looked at her and why he did not want her when everyone did. Why?

When they got acquainted, she did not like him.

“Tall skinny nerd. Weirdo”, she thought.

Jaime wore glasses and baggy clothes. He was awkward, like a newborn giraffe who could not understand how to walk. He often rambled and mumbled, but when he talked about his beloved work or favourite comics, this guy metamorphosed into another person: confident, passionate and even obsessive. His eyes started sparking and turned into precious green emeralds. Jaime’s voice sounded so alluring and charming that she could listen about these stupid comic heroes for hours, only to listen to his voice.

Elizabeth did not know when this started or when she reached a point of no return. He annoyed her, but she could not understand the reason for it. Was it his voice or manners? Was it his gestures or awkwardness? Or was his inattentiveness toward her? Men from their office irritated her with their desire to be with her. Of course, she liked this attention, this power over them when only her look could make them kneel; but she took it for granted. No one could resist her beauty, charisma and smartness, but bloody Waters could. It drove her crazy, how dared he not crave for her. How?! She started thinking about him. Every day, her first, and last thought was about Jaime Waters. What was he doing? What did he like? Why did he not look at her? Why was he cold? Then she noticed her body language. When he was sitting near her on their business meeting or team building course, she unconsciously crossed her legs, and the upper one always looked at Jaime and sometimes touched him. Lizzie felt her hair when he was near or mirrored him. Lizzie recognized her feelings by understanding that Jaime was the only man who could touch her without any consequence. How the fate was ironical: she had broken so many hearts and fallen into the guy who did not love her back.

But everything got worse when Pam Mitchel started an internship at their company. She was a lovely ginger woman in her early twenties who had plump rosy cheeks covered with freckles. At the very beginning, everything was fine until Elizabeth noticed how Jaime stared at Pam with wide-open eyes. He looked at this girl how she wanted him to look at her, with interest and love. It broke her heart for the first time. The next time was when Sally, her colleague, said she saw Pam and Jaime together. They were at the café kissing. “They might have a date”, thought Elizabeth. “It means nothing. I’ve had plenty of dates and never seen them again”. But it meant a lot: Jaime started new relationships with rosy-cheeked Pam and not with pale-skinned Elizabeth.

Now, when Elizabeth Grey saw Pam, her blood started boiling. She wanted to hurt this girl so she could feel what Lizzie felt near them. Pam was Lizzie’s intern by fate’s irony, so Grey criticised Pam’s move mercilessly, saying blunt and rude words. As a boss, Elizabeth gave her intern a lot of work so that the ginger could not be with her beloved Jaime. She could not make Jaime be away from his girlfriend at night, but when the sun was shining – she could. Pam was gradually fading and withering: her bright red hair became duller, and blush went away from her cheeks. She slowly turned into a ghost.

It was late evening. Lizzie was alone at work finishing some papers when Jaime entered her office. She was astonished, her mouth slightly opened, and her heart skipped its beat.

“Stop torturing her”, said the young man. “Please.”

Elizabeth cleared her throat and said, “Pardon? I should stop doing what? And who is her?”

“You know about whom I’m talking! Stop tormenting Pam! I don’t know why you dislike her,” exclaimed Jaime.

“Dislike? I hate her!” said Elizabeth, stood up from her seat and came to him. A sardonic smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “You can’t even imagine the level of my hatred!”

Jaime got white, and his beautiful green eyes were growing wide.

“Why?” asked him. “Why do you hate Pam? She is the kindest person I’ve ever met. She’s hard-working and tries to impress you because you’re her idol. She cries every day now because you haven’t said even one kind word to her but criticism and offences.”

“How can’t you understand?! Because of this!” Lizzie shouted. Her chest was rapidly rising and falling as she could not take a breath.

“Because of this?”

“Yes!”

“Do you lo…” a scream from Elizabeth interrupted him.

“Don’t say it! Not a word! I don’t! I don’t.” she closed her eyes and shook her head as she could not accept this. “You have no idea what I feel. You don’t understand how my heart is bleeding when I see both of you. How it is when you are near me, but I can’t touch you. I can’t get you out of my mind. When I wake up, my first thought is about you, and the last one is also yours when I’m in bed. You even can’t imagine my pain. It seems to hurt everywhere! I can’t bear it anymore. You don’t know how it feels. When you are dreaming of a kiss which has never touched your lips, it is a torment! This – this – the feeling is agony!”

A sullen and ominous silence reigned in the room. There was only a sound of quick breath. The woman and man remained silent for a long time when he cleared his throat and said, “I don’t know. I – I – I think you have no feeling for me except annoyance: you looked at me so angrily.”

Her face grimaced as she suffered from an excruciating pain that she could not bear anymore.

“I was for you a Snow Queen. I know how our colleagues called me. All of you think that I have cold blood, but my heart is not of stone!” exclaimed she and started going away.

“Stop!” shouted Jaime and grabbed her hand.

“Do. Not. Touch. Me”

They were standing and staring at each other’s eyes, and sometimes their gazes fell on their lips when the phone rang. It was Pam. The magic was ruined.

Jaime answered quickly, “I’m busy. Yeap. I’ll soon be finishing. Ya, see you later. Buy.”

Elizabeth went away from him and said, “She waits for you, so go.”

Jaime seemed to say something, but Lizzie continued.

“This talk should have never happened. We pretend that it never took place. If I understand correctly, Pam doesn’t know your intention to talk to me. So, you finished your work, and I finished mine. That’s all. But you should know I’ll behave myself as I’ve done it before. You understand why.”

“Yes. I – I – I wish you to be free from this torment. One day you’ll be happy and with a man who adores you. You’ll experience requited love, my Snow Queen”, said Jaime, gently kissing her forehead, and quickly went away.

Elizabeth Grey was standing alone in the room and looking at the closed door. Lizzie thought that if she were the real Snow Queen, she would enchant her Kai Jaime and live happily together until he melted her heart. But there was no such a fairy tale with a happy ending.