Silence by Anhelina Ishchenko

 To me who deserved happiness.

Tick tock, tick tock. Only the sound of the clock can be heard.

It seems the time has stopped.

She didn't know for how long she held her breath.

Amanda was looking at the ghost. She couldn't believe her eyes...

Is it Robert? But how?

"..." - She wanted to greet her late husband or ask him a question.

But she could not utter a word.

Amanda hears the sound of footsteps.

"Amanda, why are you so pale?", Richard asks. "...and who is this man? You haven't mentioned that we will have a guest today"

The woman feels her cheeks and chest becoming hot. She is confident her face is all red right now.

"Richard, it is Robert the man to whom I was married... Robert, Richard is my current husband"

***

I wonder where things went wrong…

Those are the words that Amanda keeps repeating to herself again and again, looking at the man she once knew and loved dearly.

She cannot grasp the fact that now he is sitting right in front of her in flesh and blood. Robert seems calm and collected, his face doesn’t show even the slightest sign of emotion. It is as if his body is still alive, but his soul is in another dimension.

Amanda notices that she has been staring at her ex-husband for a while now. However, she has no right to gape at him like this.

The shock must have been too much for my old brain, I am forgetting all the manners

It takes all her willpower to look away from that painfully familiar face that it is no longer youthful. Wrinkles create deep lines on Robert’s forehead, the corners of his mouth are turned downwards, and once smooth cheeks are now sagging, the skin is no longer able to fight with the force of gravitation.

Robert used to be a cheerful young man. His bright smile made Amanda fall in love with him. As a young 22-year-old woman, she looked forward to spending her entire life with him, listening to his stories, which were always full of unbelievable details, and to his melodic laughter.

But there are no smile marks on his face. It appears that all as his energy has left him. Now their grim faces mirror each other.

How did we end up like this?

With trembling hands, Amanda reaches for the teapot. She watches the dark brown liquid pour into the cup, which is a part of one of her favourite porcelain tea services. A few drops of fluid fall onto the newly bought tablecloth. On some other day, Amanda would get furious if someone got it dirty because the fabric had a custom embroidery on it. This was one of those luxuries that Amanda and Robert couldn’t afford as a newly-wed couple. However, during warm summer nights, they both dreamt of having those items in their lives. They pictured a big house with a green garden where their children would play, polished furniture and exquisite utensils… The young couple imagined a happy and wealthy life that they would build together.

However, the fate decided otherwise… I have everything we dreamt of, but all I want is to return to the days of our youth. If I had made another choice, would we be living a happy life right now?

Robert’s gaze wanders from one corner of the room to another. He notices an antique clock, furniture from a high-quality wood, a Persian carpet that perfectly matches the heavy curtains, and embroidery on the tablecloth. And, finally, he lays his eyes on Amanda. She is pouring him a cup of tea, a tray with freshly baked cookies is beside her.

It is easy to imagine that this is their life. To be precise, it is how their life was supposed to be.

Amanda gives Robert his cup.

“A long time has passed,” utters the elderly woman, her voice is trembling.

“Indeed,” she receives a short reply. “So, you are married now?”

“Yes, as you can see”

“Do you have kids?”

“No”

There is a long pause in their conversation. Only the sound of the clock can be heard. It goes tick tock, tick tock. Amanda cannot help thinking that it tries to remind her of all the time that she could have spent loving Robert and waiting for him.

The tea is already cold. Amanda didn’t take even a sip.

Richard will return home soon. He will ask for explanation

“Amanda,” Robert attracts her attention.

It takes her several seconds to answer, “Yes?”

“I do not blame you,” he says, looking in her faded blue eyes and adds in a soft voice. “It must have been so hard to wait for so many years without receiving even a notice…”

Overwhelmed by emotions, Amanda averts her eyes.

“I thought you were dead,” the tears can be heard in her voice. “I am so terribly sorry”

Amanda breaks down. Years and years of suppressed emotions finally found their way out. Robert wants to take her into his embrace and tell her that everything is fine, that she did her best, and that she shouldn’t worry. But he doesn’t have this right anymore, so all he says is “I hope you are happy”.

The sound of footsteps.

The bang of the door that is being closed.

And silence.

Everything is back to the usual, as if Amanda’s past never visited her in the first place.