Two things I hate the most
are the sound of the rain and any memory of my mother. When it starts to rain, I put on my headphones, so I can never hear that disgusting sound inside my head and my mind.I`ve been to a mental hospital twice trying to fix something that broke that day inside of me. But ever and anon, as a broken clock doomed to show the same numbers, my brain showed me memories from that day. I have often been haunted by hallucinations since I was a child. Sometimes, when it rained, I could see blood stains on the windows instead of rain and hear raindrops.
Pit-pat.
Pit-pat.
Her cry in the darkest night. The pouring rain and her blood on her pale hands. My mom stays young forever.
I was eight.
I couldn`t sleep, so I went to the second floor to look at the rain. However, my attention was drawn to the opened door to the basement.
- Mom?
Not hearing the answer, I asked a second time and went into the room. My mother lay in the dress which was bought a few days before. The head was slightly tilted, and the eyes were looking ahead. She looked like a pale porcelain doll on the shelf. She loved to collect them and eventually became one of them. A hand hangs over the side of the bathtub, and blood dripped from it, echoing in my childhood mind with the sound of rain.
Pit-pat
The toy fell from my hands, and the rain outside intensified. It merged with my piercing cry.
Today, I went to her grave. I crossed the invisible border of my hometown for the first time in 30 years. This city is like a desert. The rain here is a rare phenomenon.
And what do you think happened?
Hardly I had entered the downpour covered the cemetery.
You will never stop following me everywhere even being in the lowest part of Hell. Even as a pile of bones deep underground, you still haunt me. All the treatments I used to take to heal my trauma became useless. Today, you broke my heart and drowned it in cold water again, Mom.
Meanwhile, the remnants of the rain were flowing from the trees.
Pit-pat
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