because I couldn’t even imagine that my friend was so sensitive and naive. I’ve just understood that it was the best time to be brutally honest to him, to tell the truth. We couldn’t have a relationship anymore. The reason was — he never revealed his true character.
“You deserve someone better than me” the banality, I started with. “I am nothing special, of this I am sure, a common girl with common dreams. ” I made an effort to swallow my pride, despite the fact I never admit being wrong.
He stepped back, trying to compose himself. Small shiny beads of sweat appeared on his forehead. His gaze was scattered. He laughed nervously while wiping the corners of his eyes, trying to shake himself up. Like a tiny tot who has accidentally broken a toy he loved, my poor friend wrung his hands and sobbed.
Finally, I lost my patience and shouted at this spineless and frightened man.
“You always put others first and never bear a grudge, even when others walk all over you. Really and truly, you are like Mother Teresa! It repels! Did you expect some kind of glossy Disney-proof happy ending of our story? I am filled up with your love. You can't live your life for other people. You've got to do what's right for you!”
With shaking hands, he tried to undo the collar.
“Do you loathe me?” he asked, a thousand other questions on his pale face. His eyes brimmed with tears. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to cry… Still, I have lost my job, my friends, my dignity, I came to terms with all my loss in the name of my love. But if I were to live a thousand years, I would belong to you for all of them. Do you remember the ending of my letters? ‘Yours truly’. Those words weren’t empty, not for me. Unlike you!”
His words, sharp as tacks, pierced my heart.
“I told you, that I’d give you a chance, and I kept my word.” I softly breathed. But he didn’t listen. A new thought had stuck him.
In this emotional mess, he suddenly rushed to the window and opened it lightly. The papers from his table, like a flock of snow-white birds, took off and circled the room. One of the papers flew in millimeters of my head, trying to slap me in the face as if it strove to revenge my friend’s broken heart.
He threatened to jump out of the window, but, to be honest, I thought it was another way to throw a tantrum, just the next step after breaking into tears. There was method in his madness. An artful juggler of my sentiments, he stepped on the windowsill.
“I wonder if you will ever grow up.” I said. Perhaps, he didn’t expect me to behave in such a cold-blooded way. All that's left for him was to step into nowhere. One of his legs was already hanging over the noisy street, over the abyss. He was already merged in the abyss of despair....
“Cut! That’s a wrap!” there was a shout.
Eventually, we have completed that wretched 157th episode. Praise the heavens, then I could leave the filming studio floor and have a snack.
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