intimate state of mind that absorbs a human`s body like a slippery darkness muffles a night city. A sudden sorrow and a bitter feeling of the horrible helplessness slow down all the engines of a lively life that were diligently arranged during the months of the past summer. The only thing that heats up the sodden soul is a hot tea from the nearest café.
This disgusting feeling accompanies me every autumn trying to suck out the bits and pieces of my vital energy. It becomes unbearably difficult to perceive the routine that starts irritating because of the permanent summer flashbacks. It seems that the only harmony is the gloomy palette of ambient and internal shades that press on from all the possible sides.
The down is not real anymore since the dark clouds are hiding the weak sun rays. Therefore the desire to lower the curtains disappears even from an instant look into the window. The rough drizzle that permanently knocks on the window doesn`t allow me to rest from its continuous echoes even for a moment. And the inevitable possibility of a direct conversation with the cold autumn street seems more frightening than the crevices in the window frames.
Is it possible to overcome this merciless yearn for blooming carelessness and to go beyond the limits of my own apathy? I`m not sure that there is a comprehensive treatment of the minor mood of an unexpected autumn, but this melancholy eventually disappears. Apparently, every person finally founds his or her own motivational symbol – the desired mover which prompts this person to strive for this intended purpose. Therefore, if a person is persistently trying to throw away this melancholy shell, he or she will clutch at every lifebuoy sent by the fate.
There is no doubt that getting into the fetters of an autumn anguish is extremely easy, but to avoid them is much more difficult. However, it is really necessary to keep in mind the life-saving symbol as a hook that will surely catch you and lead to light.
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