The Way He Looked at Me by Elizabeth Yushchenko

It was easy for me to fall in love
with him, but not easy to actually love.
From the moment we first met, I knew, things won’t work for us. It was not because of our personality’s differences or of our lack of connection and intimacy in it. Which we, I must admit, had way more than it was appropriate in our circumstances. Not even the fact of his soon engagement was what made me so terrified of the thoughts of us being together. The problem of our existing-only-in-my-mind relationship was, well, it was me.
It was me, what I felt uncomfortable about every time around him. My thoughts never seemed so original and exiting as his, so I preferred to keep them to myself, words I used were dull and clichéd, the way I talked was pretty boring, as well as my whole personality, to be honest. There was no way he could love me, so there was either no point in thinking about him and dreaming about us. That was what I was telling myself every time we met, every time we discussed the recently read books, every time we laughed because of our childhood stories, every time our hands touched when we walked too close to each other. I tried, I really did, to persuade myself not to fall for him. And, although I was well aware that we can`t control or destroy our true feelings, for a brief moment I believed I could.
But once, when I looked into his eyes, everything changed. I thought, these were the most beautiful, most delightful, most divine eyes of all I have ever seen. That was the moment I realized how indeed desperately in love I was with this man. I was like a fool in love, and somehow it felt so right and it made me feel so complete. Happiness filled me and I couldn’t stop myself from looking at him.
And then I saw it, in his eyes, something I haven’t noticed there before. It was the way he looked back at me. The same way I looked at him.