Don't Come to up me as a Ghost… by Valeria Yatskevich

She emitted the warm wave of the light,
which covered all around her. The light gently touched the crowns of  daffodils. There were thousands of flowers around and the woman in her airy yellow dress looked like one of them.
The man  saw just her back. His heart was beating fast. He wanted to hide somewhere, but there were only gold flowers around. “Don`t turn back, don`t turn back”, the man prayed in his thoughts. But it was late. Her sea-blue eyes, full of sorrow and shadow, looked at him.
That was the nightmare he had woken up from. He could have thought: “It was just as same as the one at the previous week”, but he hadn't been able to think clear. He was lying in the dark room on the sheets, which were wet from his sweat. He did not think. His eyes were wide-opened like he wanted to see something hiding at the colourlessness.  But all he wanted was the time to go faster.
However, after two or three hours of lying in the darkness he finally said to himself despite the feeling of the tightness in his chest: “Man, it's hard like all things now,  but you need to do something”.
By slow unconfident moves he reached the bathroom. “I do not need the light”, the man thought, but his automatic gesture had been faster and he switched the light up. He closed his eyes for a while, but it was enough for her to come again. Yellow flowers of the wedding bouquet, blue eyes full of pain, because he had not wanted that child, trembling scarlet lips after the abortion  and words: “You are unable to have a child”.
He washed his face by cool water. The reflection in the mirror looked at him with tired red eyes. He had lost about eight kilograms  for couple last months and his faced looked haggard.  The man touched his hair and whispered: “Grey. You would like it, darl…” he stopped talking. “I can`t call you that after all”.
He couldn`t call her ‘darling’ after her shocked face when she had discovered that he had a child from another woman; after their quarrel when he had shouted: “You can scream and cry, but you can`t give a birth to anyone no more !”; after her words in the suicide note: “I do not want to be useless. I do not want to disturb you anymore. I am so sorry”.
He felt the dryness in his throat. Suddenly, he heard some strange sound like crying behind him. He turned back and look attentively all around, but it was just games of his restless mind.
When he gave a glance at the mirror again he noticed the figure in the yellow dress. From unexpectedness he closed his eyes for a second. The man bit his lip trying not to scream. She disappeared. He looked in the reflection breathing  hard.
Then he punched the mirror with all his anger. His fist was still in the broken surface when he whispered: “Don`t come to me as a ghost. You are still alive. Yet, I am not”.