“What?”
“What?”“You’re looking at me all weird. Do I have something on my face?”
“Oh, no, not quite. Not at all, I mean. I’m just practicing eye contact. You know how they say, on Tiktok or wherever else, that if you have trouble looking people in the eye, you just gotta stare at their forehead real hard. Especially if, you know, they’reunconventional-looking.”
“ Does not seem like very sound advice. This is probably a sign you should delete the thing.”
“Never. It’s good fun.”
“It gives you brain damage.”
“What doesn’t?”
“Fair point! But maybe midterm prep would serve you better.”
“Wait, are you serious?”
“Well, yeah. Better to be safe than sorry.”
“No, I mean, midterm prep? What midterms?”
“The ones we have every year?”
“Wait. You can’t tell me you haven’t read the news. Pull your head out of the sand for two seconds, would you? There’s no more midterms, idiot! We’ve got stuff to do, there’s only four days left!”
“Why on Earth would they cancel midterms? If you’re joking, I swear to God.”
“If there’s anyone joking in this room, it’s you. There’s just no way. There’s no way. Do your folks keep you trapped in a tower? I knew you people were a little old-fashioned, but this is extreme. You don’t know about the Gathering?”
“The whatening? I’m so glad I’m employed.”
“Employed!”
“So I don’t have to keep up with your Internet nonsense.”
“Brother, come on. When they come, your employment will go out the window just like anyone else’s.”
“What the hell? You’re talking like there’s a war coming.”
“Jesus, how paranoid you are. We’re just moving. They invited us! ”
“What? You’re moving?”
“Your family are a bunch of freaks! They haven’t told you a single thing about the literal interplanetary migration deal we’ve made, everyone and their mother is bouncing off the walls about this. A literal epochal event, mind you! With this attitude, they’re better off unacclimatised or declined.”
“Stop. Stop. Okay, that’s enough now. You’re dragging out the joke, now you just sound like a cult member.”
“You’re coming with me. I am not letting those losers set you back, you’re coming with me. You’re not registered yet? I’ll do it. We’ll send in an application together; you’ll get an ID or whatever the hell they call it. Refusal is not an option. This planet is done for; it’s gone, it’s on its last legs, and it’s not my fault you’ve been brainwashed into believing any of this is remotely acceptable. But it’s my responsibility to get you out of here, and your duty to accept my offer.”
“Four days?”
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