Happy Birthday by Olha Tepliuk

"Hand me the salad bowl. No, the glass one."

"Here. Careful, it’s slippery."

"Thanks. God, my hands are freezing. Turn the tap a little hotter, Amber?"

"There. That good?"

"Perfect. Look at these roses. Marcus actually went to three different florists today just to find the exact shade of peach I mentioned in passing last month. Can you believe him?"

"He’s attentive, Cate. You’re lucky."

"He’s a saint. He’s an absolute, literal saint. He didn't even let me help carry the trash down. He just smiled, kissed my forehead, and said, ‘Rest your pretty head, birthday girl.’ It’s… it’s insane."

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"Is it terrible if I say it feels a little bad? No, not bad. Just… heavy. Like being wrapped in a thousand wet wool blankets. It's suffocating."

"Cate, he just threw you a flawless dinner party."

"I know! That’s the problem! We’ve been together for two years and we have never had a single fight. Not one. If I burn the dinner, he tells me he loves the smoky flavor. If I snap at him because I’m stressed, he brings me chamomile tea. He’s just like programmed to be the perfect boyfriend. It’s sickly sweet, Amber. It’s making my teeth ache."

"Most people would kill for a partner who doesn't scream at them."

"I don't want screaming, I just want… friction. I want a real person. Someone who doesn't agree with every single word that comes out of my mouth. Like tonight, when we were discussing the budget — he just nodded. I wanted him to argue! I wanted him to have an opinion that wasn't just a mirror of mine."

"He loves you. Don't overthink it. Just scrub the plate."

"You’re doing it too."

"Doing what?"

"That thing. That voice. You’ve been doing it all night. The formal, distant, polite roommate voice. You barely even spoke to him during dessert."

"I was tired."

"You’re always tired lately. Or busy. Or staring at the wall. You used to be the one who brought the noise into this apartment. You’re raw, you’re loud, you take risks. Remember when we stayed up until four AM arguing about whether art can exist without a consumer? That was a fight. That was alive. I miss that."

"People grow up, Cate. We can't act like chaotic college students forever."

"Is that what you think this is? Growing up? You’re retreating. You’re building a wall between us, and I don't understand why. Did I do something?"

"No."

"Then look at me. Stop staring at the soap bubbles and look at me."

"I’m washing the knife, Cate. I’d rather not cut myself."

"Amber, seriously. You’ve been treating me like a fragile stranger for six months. Ever since Marcus and I talked about moving in together permanently. It’s like the moment my life got stable, you decided you were too good for it. Or too bored by it."

"That is not what happened."

"Then tell me what happened! Because I am drowning in Marcus’s perfection, and I come home to my best friend, and you’re a ghost. I need something real. I need you."

"Don't say that."

"Why not? It's true. I tempt myself sometimes, thinking about how things used to be before everything got so carefully planned out. With Marcus, I know exactly what the next forty years look like. With you, I never knew what the next forty minutes would bring. I miss the danger, Amber. I miss the risk."

"Shut up. Just… shut up, Cate."

"Excuse me?"

"You don't know what you're saying. You're tipsy, you're bored on your birthday, and you're playing with fire because you have nothing better to do."

"I am not playing..."

"You are! You stand there complaining about a man who worships the ground you walk on, treating his kindness like a flaw, all because you want a little drama? You want friction? You want a fight?"

"Amber, your hands are shaking."

"Because I’m sick of it! I’m sick of pretending! You want to know why I’ve been a ghost? Why I built a wall? It wasn't because I was bored of you, Cate. It’s because I’m terrified of you."

"Terrified of me? Why?"

"Because I am in love with you! God, I have been so violently in love with you for years, and every single day I have to sit across from your flawless, sweet, perfect boyfriend and pretend that it doesn't tear my throat out to watch him touch your shoulder!"

"Amber…"

"Don't 'Amber' me. Don't look at me like that. I didn't want to say it. I swore to myself I would never, ever say it. I froze myself out on purpose. I became a statue because if I let myself be warm for even a second, I knew I would do something to ruin your perfect little life. I’ve been suffering in absolute denial for two years so you could have your wet wool blankets and your peach roses!"

"You… you love me?"

"Yes! Are you happy now? Is that enough friction for you? Is that dangerous enough?"

"Amber, put the towel down. Look at me."

"No. I’m going to my room."

"Don't walk away. You don't get to drop that on me and just leave."

"What else is there to do? You’re with Marcus. You’re going to marry Marcus. I am the chaotic best friend who is stepping across a line she can never step back over."

"Who said I wanted you to step back?"

"What?"

"You said I’m playing with fire. Maybe I am. Maybe I’ve been waiting for a spark."

"Cate, stop. Don't move closer. You’re confusing boredom with—"

"I’m not confused. I’ve been staring at you across the kitchen island every night, wishing you would snap at me just so I could feel something. I don't want the roses, Amber."

"You don't know what you're doing. If Marcus..."

"Forget Marcus! Look at me!!"

"Cate, come to your mind!"

"Amber..."

"What the hell are you d…!?"

"..."

"Amber, wait, don't push away..."

"No! No, no, no."

"Please, god please, look at me..."

"What did we just do?"

"I just..."

"He left his watch on the counter. Look at it. It’s right there."

"Amber, listen to me, we need to talk about this..."

"There is nothing to talk about."

"You can't just pretend that didn't happen! The way you held me — you felt it too. You can't go back into denial now."

"Watch me."

"Amber!"

"I can't do this. I can't look at you, and I certainly can't look at him tomorrow. I’m leaving."

"It's midnight! Where are you going?"

"A hotel. Anywhere. Don't follow me, Cate."

"Amber, please! Don't leave me here alone with this!"

"You wanted a risk, Cate. Happy birthday."

"Amber!"

"..."

"Amber?"