Hate Makes Me Feel by Viktoriia Kadina

They say that hatred destroys us inside.

It's pretty funny actually because I've never felt so full of diversified emotions and strengths. I had no clue it was even possible to feel something this deep and overwhelming. We are used to saying that we hate something, but do we ever mean it? Now, I am absolutely sure I feel so much hate that it's even physically and mentally hurtful.

Focusing on one person that you wish would disappear is entertaining. I see him every day passing by and imagine how something terrifying happens to him by accident in front of me. What would I do? Since we are surrounded by people in the office, I suppose I'd pretend to be polite and sympathetic. Unfortunately, I guess I'd need to call the ambulance.

My fear of telling somebody about this craziness is obvious. The reactions are predictable, and I don't want to listen to how ill I am. Frankly speaking, I have doubts even about my psychologist's understanding. But I wish at least one person in the world knew the truth. I bet he'd feel the same.

It's difficult to blame a "perfect boy" for something. People tend to be a herd choosing one object of admiring. And even if he did something horrific, they'd rather defend that monster. When a good-looking man respected by men and adored by women is said to be a rapist, it's always similar to Ted Bundy's case. Well, I guess I'll need to keep the silence until my passing. Or his one.