“I had to say that” — Oleksandra Taratunska

“My heart was broken when you left.

It was the moment I’ll never forget. So painful, so mournful, so miserable that….” 

She didn’t close her mouth and was going to continue but suddenly got interrupted.

“I didn’t want it to happen. I’ve never intended to cause you any harm.”

These words passed her ears. She wasn’t ready to listen to her. Too many years of waiting, too many words to say.  And with cries on her face, she continued the monologue. 

“You held the utmost significance in my life. The whole world was crashed when you left me. Never before had I felt so lost and lonely. The pain and sorrow I felt still reside deep within my heart, and I want you to know it.

I’ve spent countless moments pondering how my life would have looked like if not that day. With you by my side it would have been far better, no doubt. And realizing this truth, I feel an unbearable deep ache within my chest…”

She stopped for a while and then continued.

“I wish we had spent more time together and shared moments that would forever be etched in our memories. 

I wish we had cultivated a bond so strong that we would have become the best of friends.

I wish we had supported and uplifted each other through thick and thin. 

I wish you had imparted your vast knowledge and wisdom to me, shaping me into a better version of myself. 

I wish we had embarked on grand adventures, traversing the globe side by side.

I wish our evenings were filled with sincere conversations, where we could freely discuss anything and everything.

I wish you had embraced me warmly whenever tears streamed down my face.

I wish you had been the one who stood by my side, ready to support and defend me whenever I needed. 

Oh, mom, how I yearned for your support during those moments when I felt most vulnerable…

I don’t blame you, but have just one question to say — how could you pass away so quickly, leaving your daughter all alone?”

Her heart was beating over 120 times per minute. The mouth got dry and sweat began to form on the forehead. She woke up with a start, gasping for air. The room was dimly lit, and it took her a moment to realise that she was in her own bed.