The Vanished Smile by Maryna Yanovska

You've been living up

to perfection for as long as you could remember. Being a perfect daughter, student, niece. You mistakenly considered it to be a bright idea to put the weight of everyone's expectations on your shoulders. To make satisfying people the purpose of your life. 

Day by day, you'd been keeping that role. You'd been dancing, and talking, and smiling to people, with people, because they liked to watch you, to listen to you, to touch you as if you were the treasure. Shiny, colourful. Not their to keep. 

You lived a dream full of sincerity and tenderness. Until it got stolen. 

The day of vanished smiles and miserable pleas had come without invitation. 

"She is the princess, similar to those of fairy tales. Well-behaved, polite, sympathetic to the ugliest creature. In different circumstances, animals would talk to her and flowers would blossom brighter than ever just to come close enough to her beauty. Just to be worthy of her attention. This child is my precious angel and I expect everyone to protect her at all costs". The speech of proud father. Eyes on you. So many, so kind. You were there with a shyness and sweetness. 

The dialogue, never meant for your ears. The person, you thought, you could trust with your entire being. The simplest wish to help your dad with his troubles, the nature of which you could have never figured. The plea to this person, the readiness to do anything. It would forever stay behind the closed doors. 

"Leaving already? Well, remember, dearest heart. No one should ever figure this out. Consider it our little agreement. I'm helping your father, you're never bringing up anything that happened here. Consider it a lesson for life. Your beauty will show you the world, you'll be its Princess, as you are to your father". 

And years later, they were here. She, this random lady, she has never met before, and the dearest uncle. Talking of nonsense as if it was everything. Such a pity, this dialogue is only between the two of them. The dearest uncle, l from now forever quiet. 

"I guess, it's empty words now, but I'm sorry for your loss, dear heart. You and your uncle used to be close in the past. And knowing how family was always your priority, you must be devastated". 

"Thanks for coming. And the condolences. I appreciate it", words, automatic and emotionless. Be a good girl, make them believe in your grief. After all, there is no way to think badly about a dead man. You're interrupted. There are other sweet people. Short, meaningless conversation. The simplest reply. "Thanks for coming". You continue, let those useless thoughts speak to you. You'll be the new head of the company. Rule it, as if ruling the world. His words, which made you the person you are. Pathetic, hypocritical words you cannot forget after ages. "Thank you, we'll be alright", The day, which had started so nicely back then. Your dad taking you to his work, showing you off, ended up a catastrophe. You've grown up ever since, keeping that little secret deeply inside. Firstly, because of not understanding, then of embarrassment. Your therapist had quite a workout with you. "Thank you, we were lucky to have him". Good thing, you're lucky with him. It's your time now. Time to be the Princess.