17 Jun 2019

I'm Feeling Blue by Katya Glovatska

I was lying in
the already scarlet bathroom. Why no one talks about how painful it is to cut the veins?  My body suddenly became very heavy and weak.
I finally did what I was constantly thinking about.  Perhaps I should feel relieved or conciliated, but instead I feel the same emptiness as before.  I wanted so much to end all my sufferings.  I could not tolerate this unbearable burden.  I constantly feel that no one needs me.  My existence is absolutely pointless, I do not bring any good.  I remember everything that happened to me lately.  A lot of disgusting things happened to me, but the most difficult thing was that he betrayed me.  He was the only person I could trust, I always believed him.  When I learned that all this time I was just entertaining him, it destroyed me. I regret that I have not done something important in my life. Probably this is not a reason for suicide, but I lost what I lived for.  I do not know how to move on and whether this makes sense.  Maybe I could gain strength and change something, but the blood from my wrists had already filled the bath.
For some reason, I thought it would be easier for me, but no.  It is just the end, the end of everything.  I closed my eyes.

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