my view from the window was a view of the sea. In the morning, it is dazzlingly brilliant, and in the evening - so blue and inviting to itself, so velvety and deep, gave all its warmth, which the winds absorbed from the waves and carried directly to my feet, hair and body, completely enveloping me like a blanket. It [the sea] lived its wide life, full of powerful movement. Flocks of waves with noise rolled to the shore and broke on the rocks. Waving their white manes, the forward waves with noise struck chest against the shore and retreated, reflected by them, and they were already met by others, which were going to support them. Embraced tightly, in foam and spray, they again rolled onto the shore and beat it in an effort to expand the limits of their lives. From the horizon to the shore, all along the sea, these flexible and strong waves were born and everything went, they were dense mass, closely connected with each other by unity of purpose ... The sun shone more brightly on its ridges, near the distant waves, on the horizon, it seemed blood-red. Not a single drop did not disappear without a trace in this titanic movement of the water mass, which seemed to be inspired by some conscious goal and now it reaches it with these broad, rhythmic blows. It was fascinating to see the beautiful bravery of the foremost, gallantly jumping to the silent shore, and it was good to watch the sea calmly and harmoniously follow them, a mighty sea already sunlit in all colors of the rainbow and full of consciousness of its beauty and strength ... I stand on my balcony and I see it: the sea. For the first time in these long summer days, I really see it. And I hear its terrible voice, I feel its strongest smell and nonstop interior dance, an endless wave. Everything disappears, and only it remains. In front of me. Above me. As a revelation. The veil of pain and fear that captivates my soul melts, the snare of abomination, cruelty and nightmare that veiled my eyes are breaking, the twilight of death that has troubled my mind is dispelling, and in the unexpected light the desired clarity is overshadowed by me, I finally see and feel and understand. Sea. It seemed a silent spy, even an accomplice. Or the frame, the stage, the scenery. Now I look at him and I understand: the sea was everything. It was everything from the beginning. I see how it dances around me, illuminated by the icy light, a triumphant, beautiful and immense monster. It was in the hands of death, in dying dead, in thirst and hunger, in agony, meanness and insanity, it was hate and despair, pity and failure, it is blood and flesh, it is horror and shine. There is no raft, no people, no words, no feelings, no actions - nothing. There are no guilty and innocent, sentenced and saved. There is only the sea. Everything became a sea.
When I look at the sea, it seems to me that its waves are taking away my sadness. Next to it, the scale of any grief is narrowing, boundaries are eroding - because its widths absorb everything around. The sea is my favorite way to forget myself and feel completely different.
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