The Shoe by M. Makarova

No one ever liked a pair of shoes
like John Dean did. And what is strange, he liked the left shoe more than the right. Why? Nobody knew.
Every evening John Dean spent cleaning his shoe. It was old, brown and scruffy. Seemed, that the right place for the shoe was in the bin. And John Dean`s wife hold the same opinion. Every night she came up with the new ways of getting rid of the shoe.
She tried to feed it to the pigs. But pigs were more damaged by that interaction than the shoe. With squealing they gathered in the farthest corner of the farm. And it was obvious that the shoe didn’t inspire them for dinner. After the first unsuccessful try John Dean’s wife didn`t put her hands down.
Next night she tried to dwell the shoe in the river. And, fortunately, it dwelled. She was so happy that fainted from excitement and spent the next few days in bed. Her husband decided that she grieved the loss of the shoe and made everything possible to find it.
Out of desperation she left the shoe in the forest. But on the next morning a bear brought it back in teeth, crying like a small girl.
John Dean’s wife understood soon that the shoe was immune to all kind of tortures. So she came to her husband and said:
John Dean, I can’t live with your shoe in the same house. All the soap of the world wouldn’t make it more presentable. So choose: either it’s me, or the shoe.
The shoe - answered John Dean, chewing tobacco.