Everything in my life has always been only half-good.
Considering my character, the hardest thing was to keep the good half untouched. This girl wasn’t an exception and I felt I was ruining it with her. I tried not to be alone with her, limiting our conversations to Wednesday staff meetings. And every staff meeting I would say some sparky comment and Helena would put me to shame for it. At first, I didn’t want to admit it, but I enjoyed these few sentences she would normally say about me to address my insult. Even if these sentences were something like ‘That is very unprofessional of you, Simon’ or ‘Simon, have some respect’. At least this way she would say my name every Wednesday.
I tried to bury my feelings for Helena deep inside, but subconsciously I went crazy for the sound of her voice, the look in her eyes and, oh man, the shine of her silky hair. This beauty deserved a wealthy, handsome and well-mannered husband, but instead she got an admirer that was arrogant and way too old for her. She obviously had no idea I was into her, otherwise she wouldn’t be still working with me. And it just kept getting harder for me to stay away from the girl.
Apparently, faith had no mercy for me last Wednesday. The staff meeting has already started when I arrived. Trying not to disturb anybody I sat on the closest chair. I turned and only now realized that She was sitting next to me. Beautiful and elegant as always, she showed no hint of displeasure for being in my company. But my face probably showed a lot of emotions. The knot of nerves in my guts made me sick and my whole body ached like I was addicted to her. None of it stopped my mind from racing, and the moment I was thinking about quitting this job the next thing tomorrow, nerdy Jane stopped her speech about the lack of finances for her department.
‘Do you have something to say to me, Mister Salton? Please spare us of the disgust on your face,’ she looked me in the eye.
I wanted to explain that I must have eaten something expired for lunch, but to my surprise my mouth answered in another manner.
‘I might stop you right there Jane, because your presentation is boring as hell. And it’s pointless since your department is getting more funds next month. Now, I know that you have to make money on your own, because who would ever marry such a pedantic maniac. But please spare US of listening to all of this nonsense. Go and tell all of this to your cat.’
Just when I was about to leave the room before hearing a comeback from Jane, I heard the voice that made my heart drop.
‘Simon, I insist you apologize to Jane this instant! Work is work but you have never crossed a personal line before.’
The girl that was a frequent visitor in my dreams now looked furious. I must have touched something close to her, because her eyes were now filled with tears. I wanted to apologize, to fall on my knees and say that I would never hurt her. But that was not the plan for the man who was only half-good.
‘Helena? Well, that’s reasonable you are offended too. You are more of a nerd than Jane is. No good man would ever date a woman who reads even in her sleep,’ I heard myself say those words like it was all a dream.
But it wasn’t a dream and I now realized the damage I have just made. Heartless, heartless beast! I needed to leave, to quit, to die. Anything but see her cry.
‘Even you wouldn’t?’ she stated the fact more than asked me a question.
The room went silent. My heart flatlined right there, at the staff meeting room.
‘Will you date me, Simon?’ Helena did ask this time.
‘I am not a good man, so yes. I will date you,’ I flew out of the room and gasped for the air.
Seconds later I heard the door behind me open. I never looked back, but I knew who was now standing near me.
‘Why?’ was the only word I whispered.
‘Because I can be your good half.’
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